Free Verbal Abuse

ghottihookrckr @ 2005-06-05T16:21:00

2005-06-05T20:23:17Z

Memory conveys that you were something to be
When you weren't held captive in an aged body
You had a family that needed you and job security
You had everything a man could ever need
But where did your children go? Where is your family?
Did they turn into the adults that you always hoped they'd be?
Did you finally retire from that job that tortured you?
I thought all your dreams had come true
So why are you depressed when your life is at it's best
Is it really cause it's not what it seems?
Or are you unable to see that you should be happy
'Cause your still living in yesterday's dreams

All lies lies lies (stop lying)
All lies lies lies

Your eldest son reminds you of the way life used to be
When you didn't bear the chains of matrimony
You had no job that you hated, no responsibility
You were youthful and careless and free
And the woman you wed, she seemed better in bed
When there wasn't a ring on her finger
Yes your life seemed all right when you partied all night
Those days are gone, does the flavor still linger?
Don't tell me life would be great if you were reprobate
And had friends who were losers and fiends
You've a family a wife and a meaningful life
But you're still holding on to yesterdays dreams

All lies lies lies (stop lying)
All lies lies lies

Loneliness reduces you to disharmony
Life seems so hopeless and melancholy
You're still so young but you can't find the strength to move on
Now that the woman who loves you is gone
Did you find she wasn't so close when you needed her most
Is it hard facing up to rejection?
You might understand that she needed a man
But you're still seeking maternal protection
Don't give up you're still young and your life's just begun
At every corner opportunity screams
Sometimes life is abrupt but it's time to grow up
And stop clinging to yesterday's dreams

I never put subjects here

2005-06-04T21:23:28Z

Rachel P.: you're awesome. you made me this awesome lj layout. thank you ever so much. (I <3 it).

Rebekah has left and I will not see her for a very very long time. it's quite sad. I miss her already. maybe when I come down to visit next year I can come when she comes. that'll be nice.

Another year has come and gone, it makes me think of when I was a kid. going through life without a care in the world. letting my imagination guide me along. I realize the fact that, I will be an adult soon, I will have responsibility, eventually a family, kids to be and example for. I will no longer be able to just go with my friends anytime I want and sword fight with sticks, or play little kid games anymore. you'll never outgrow being a kid. it's a longing we'll always have. to be free in life, seizing every moment, and just living in the moment instead of a plan or schedule...

in other words, I have to go clean now. the movers come monday and by June 10th our house will be empty. I have one more full week in this house, and then I'm gone. I'll miss everyone, but I'll survive and make new friends.

OFF TO CLEANING!! hooray

ghottihookrckr @ 2005-05-31T22:09:00

2005-06-01T02:39:12Z

all I ever read about in this journal is. "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and they're the greatest. they're the reason I live, the reason I can even stand to wake up in the morning. They're the one for me I know it. I just have this feeling. I love them soooooooo much I've never felt this way about anyone."

and then in about a month or so...

" I like someone else now or I can't stand it. he cheated on me/dumped me/someones spread rumors/whine complain cry about it. Woe is me, how ever will I go on. I hate this life. I mad at the world and I'm mad at God for taking him away from me (HEY! leave God out of this! He didn't take anything from you He just has someone better for you. God didn't take your gf/bf but you took His Son so....LAY OFF!)."

and then in a week or so...

"*singing* I have a new bf/gf! they're the greatest most bestest person there is. I have a reason to live again and life is all flowers and fuzzy bunnies."

^this annoys me.
it is irratating.
why do people think that they need some insignificant other to go on in life?
Yes, it is nice to have someone. if you ahve a special someone...more power to ya.

but don't make then the very essence of your existance

thank you

ghottihookrckr @ 2005-05-25T22:07:00

2005-05-26T02:07:20Z

well I haven't updated in awhile so...here' goes.

school is almost over and I am psyched. I get to move into a very big, beautiful (but dirty) house. it needs some work. I heard the football team at the school I'll be going to isn't all that great. maybe I'll go help'em out a bit. ya know, with me and my big guns (haha). I can only life 205lbs. that's no where near what I should be doing. I've been really really lazy. I haven't lifted weights in like 2 or 3 months.

anyways, exams are coming up and I am not psyched. I'll be exempt from 2 exams (maybe 3 (hopefully 3)). until then....

Breaking Benjamin Friday!!! my first time ever seeing them live...and it's about time! and then I'll finally get to go see Episode III with Baby Rae & Co. on Monday.

ok. I have no more. you can stop reading now. you have been set free.

btw, by reading this you have given me brief control of your mind. How do you feel?

Sonne

2005-05-11T02:06:32Z

Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, aus

Alle warten auf das Licht
fürchtet euch fürchtet euch nicht
die Sonne scheint mir aus den Augen
sie wird heut Nacht nicht untergehen
und die Welt zählt laut bis zehn

Eins
Hier kommt die Sonne
Zwei
Hier kommt die Sonne
Drei
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Vier
Hier kommt die Sonne

Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Händen
kann verbrennen, kann euch blenden
wenn sie aus den Fäusten bricht
legt sich heiss auf das Gesicht
sie wird heut Nacht nicht untergehen
und die Welt zählt laut bis zehn

Eins
Hier kommt die Sonne
Zwei
Hier kommt die Sonne
Drei
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Vier
Hier kommt die Sonne
Fünf
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sechs
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sieben
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Acht, neun
Hier kommt die Sonne

Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Händen
kann verbrennen, kann dich blenden
wenn sie aus den Fäusten bricht
legt sich heiss auf dein Gesicht
legt sich schmerzend auf die Brust
das Gleichgewicht wird zum Verlust
lässt dich hart zu Boden gehen
und die Welt zählt laut bis zehn

Eins
Hier kommt die Sonne
Zwei
Hier kommt die Sonne
Drei
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Vier
Und wird nie vom Himmel fallen
Fünf
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sechs
Hier kommt die Sonne
Sieben
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Acht , neun
Hier kommt die Sonne

Sun

2005-05-11T02:05:34Z

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, out

Everyone is waiting for the light
be afraid, don't be afraid
the sun is shining out of my eyes
it will not set tonight
and the world counts loudly to ten

One
Here comes the sun
Two
Here comes the sun
Three
It is the lightest star of all
Four
Here comes the sun

The sun is shining out of my hands
it can burn, it can blind you all
when it breaks out of the fists
it lays down hotly on the face
it will not set tonight
and the world counts loudly to ten

One
Here comes the sun
Two
Here comes the sun
Three
It is the lightest star of all
Four
Here comes the sun
Five
Here comes the sun
Six
Here comes the sun
Seven
It is the lightest star of all
Eight, nine
Here comes the sun

The sun is shining out of my hands
it can burn, it can blind you
when it breaks out of the fists
it lays down hotly on your face
it lays down painfully on your chest
balance is lost
it lets you go hard to the floor
and the world counts loudly to ten

One
Here comes the sun
Two
Here comes the sun
Three
It is the lightest star of all
Four
And it will never fall from the sky
Five
Here comes the sun
Six
Here comes the sun
Seven
It is the lightest star of all
Eight, nine
Here comes the sun

Turning into this new pain...

2005-05-10T00:04:06Z

Misdirected, I'm awakened
Manifested, into my head
I feel new pain, becoming part
Of my every, every moment now

New Pain - you told me you wanted and hated me
New Pain - you kill me now this becomes part

I'm so sure I'm, so confused I'm
All things to you, nothing to you
I feel new pain, in these shadows
Of my every, every moment now

New Pain - you told me you wanted and hated me
New Pain - you kill me now this becomes part of me
New Pain - you told me you wanted and hated me
New Pain - you kill me now this becomes part

You told me that you wanted me
You told me that you hate me
Tear for our suffering
Told me that I'm the one
You wanted to kill me
And now it makes
me so ugly
Becomes part of me
Turning into this new pain

Your horse I ride, bite down hard
And now I suffer
My heart to my mind it burns
Rips it hurts, it kills

ghottihookrckr @ 2005-05-05T23:38:00

2005-05-06T03:37:57Z

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

sarcastic entry

2005-04-19T01:48:11Z

oh man! I just found out I'm missing a Backstreet Boys show!.

I can't believe they actually came. don't they know that nobody likes them. Havn't their fans been shot, raped, dragged through the streets and then hung up at the local gas station? Why are they touring!? YOU SUCK! and you may say "but, tell me whyie!" well I'll tell you why. the very essence that is you, is SUCK! go to hell. go to hell and die. I hope satan rapes you and all your friends family and devoted lackies and wannabes.....twice. Boy bands were the worst possible creation since...mustard(= Satan incarnate). and don't even try the "we're not a boy band, we're a male ensemble." No, you're a by band and I hate you for it.

hok. I"m done now. I skipped school today. It was boring.

oo, and we sold our house so that means no more cleaning! hooray for me! now all we have to do is find a new house to move into.

I'm out. later.

sweet

2005-04-14T03:08:14Z

Dude! the Fall Out Boy concert last night rocked my face off! I mean literally. My face is on Monticello Ave. right now. It was so sweet. apparently Silverstien had just joined the tour that night so it was there first time playing on the "Fueled By Ramen Tour".....I wonder if there's a reason they called it that....do they really only eat ramen?.......oh well. it was awesome. great bands, crazy black guitarist, and many many many hot chic....err...beautiful creations of God (sadly none of which I will ever have any chance with).

Girls don't date me. I'm too much of the "nice guy". plus most of them hate my music. they rather try to make punk some fashion show.
fuckin preps....kill'em all when I rule the world haha

And Dave you're a jerk...pushing my hand into random girl's butts. however, I overcame your pestilence with the almighty Pocket

I still have this faint ringing sound in my head. Even so it was a kickass concert.

"so when I lay the locket around your throat, I'll wear you down, I'll watch you choke. you look so good in blue, you look so good in blue."

ghottihookrckr @ 2005-04-02T19:46:00

2005-04-03T00:48:02Z

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name	The Scotsman
Super Power	Severe Mood Swings
Enemy	J-Lo
Mode Of Transportation	City Bus
Weapon	A Stapler

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I didn't tamper with this one...it's great the way it is. however, as steve my enemy is Martha Stewart. I liked that one too, but J-Lo will suffice.

(for those of you who don't know my street name is steve/stevo)

hey peeps and co.

2005-04-02T00:12:35Z

we have finally returned from a week in PA. we looked at a bunch of house that all sucked except for 2, and the one that we put an offer up for is way way over priced and the guy doesn't really want to part with it for what we think it's worth. he's pricing his house by what the houses in the neighborhood next to his cost, and those are much bigger.

anyways, in PA I met colin's friends and we went on a quest to the random amish farms in search of firewood. we went to one place and the lady said, "oh, I know if we have any. we're just renting here." Now honestly, who knew Amish people rented farms. she wasn't even Amish. Her dress had flowers on it. Amish people can't have stuff on their clothing. It's supposed to be a solid color with no pictures or decorations.
anyways, after we got our wood we made a fire, had some s'mores, and then watch "The Grudge." That movie is hilarious. whoever decided that the girl should sound like a sick frog was on crack. And what was up with the way she'd kill people. she'd crawl on them and ribbit in there face and they'd die. what the heck is that? most of the people I talk to say that it was the scariest thing they've ever seen.

well dad needs the computer now so I'll continue this later.

the poem of a friend

2005-03-31T19:57:25Z

as time passes me by
i pass off this imitation of life
all this pain that i hide
my head's just fucked up inside

so turn and walk away
you've already left me behind
we're better off this way
i'll fuck things up given time

i see the gleam in your eye
intentions competing with mine
i had to kiss them goodbye
just one more dream that's a lie

so run and fly away
i knew you'd leave me behind
i never wanted it this way
i always fuck things up given time

could you stand to turn and look at me?
what is it exactly you're afraid to see?
you already know all the things that will never be
silence is my bane of your choice
is it a crime that i still want to hear your voice?
i guess it really doesn't matter anymore
i know that now i'm just an eyesore
i just wish for once things could've happend the way that i chose
instead i'm just a paragraph in a chapter you've already closed

ghottihookrckr @ 2005-03-30T00:55:00

2005-03-30T05:58:26Z

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	In a style so odd, it defies all laws of physics.
Clothes:	Dark, long, sexy, super cool trenchcoats with randomly placed belts. Lots and lots of belts...
Powers:	Shape shifting, elemental control, and summoning.
Special Features:	cryptic markings
Sidekick:	A black Dragon or An alternate personality, that on occasion takes on its own physical form.
Attitude:	Psychotic and damn proud.
Weapon:	Bladed Tonfas.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

this is my creation. fwahaha! (yes I was very bored)

ghottihookrckr @ 2004-12-30T03:50:00

2004-12-30T08:50:43Z

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*88____88_________8888*
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What more can I say

Sup Cracker!

2004-12-14T03:12:53Z

Alternative Metal always puts me in a good mood. "Where is your loyalty now!! When all the cards have been left on the table!!" ah I love it. I wish I could scream like that....anyways...about life...it's.....busy. My life is homework and homework is my life. it's all I do during the day it seems.

whoa (off topic) I'm listening to AHC on the realplayer while I'm on the Butchwalker website....odd...Butchwalker's friggin awesome!

(back on topic) I don't know how some people do it. like rachel for instance. she's a genius. I need not say anymore. actually...I don't have much to say. I don't talk to her much anymore. she doesn't even make eye contact with me.it....it almost seems like she's trying to avoid me, but I don't know why. If I did something I'm sorry and hope she forgives me someday but as for right now I'm at a loss. All I have to say is... I still owe you a coffee house visit so whenever you want that free cup-o-chino just ask. You know where to find me, I'll be stuck in that fiery pit called hell all day.

moving on....*looks at clock* to bed....before the parents get mad...dang it...too late

yeah!!

2004-10-03T03:57:43Z

we finally won a game!!! yeah!. and it's about time too. we ended our 0-17 losing streak. 42 to nothing! shut! out!

ok...I'm done

oh yeah! rachel said I have kind eyes. that's definitely worth mentioning.
btw rachel- sorry I kinda left you online. mom wanted to show me a tape of me calling her an idiot (aka "indiot") when I was little and while I was away dad shut my computer off. so when I came back you were gone.

well, other than our victory nothing much has happened. but I did manage to get a date with a model. July 21st. kinda. my friend Kimberly is have a birthday party and she said "you're comping up to Rhode Island for my birthday and you're my date." so how could I refuse? it's supposed to be this dance thing...or something. so yeah...I'm her "date" of sorts.

well I'm off. today was a total waste. however, I did manage to see dave for the first time in weeks. so that was pretty cool. other than that life is life

hahha

"life's *itch so *uck it"- that kills me every time I hear it

sup

2004-09-19T21:02:55Z

well it's been about a month since I last updated so I figured I'd do so. school started which means football is now shorter. so far we haven't won any games, but that doesn't really matter to me. today was pretty cool. I went over chris' house and we played some guitar....haha I finally know some chords!!
he tried to teach me "free bird" but I have a acoustic and no callouses on my fingers. so it really hurt. I was however able to kinda sorta do it on his electric. but it was ever more complicated since he's a lefty so I did it backwards. anyways

I'm off.
later.
bye.
see ya.

(this was done to make Rae happy)

(PS. to Rae- hey! I changed my password so you can't delete it now)

the usual

2004-08-17T02:44:36Z

well what can I say.......I haven't update in a while because quite frankly there has been worth my time to type.

my life still consists of football, eating, and sleeping....oh and starting to play chrono trigger all over again....I'm about 3/4 of the way through.

jibberish that only chrono trigger fans will understand: now that I have Magus I feel as if nothing can stop me. soon I shall confront Lavos and save all humanity. however, the task of reviving Chrono is in progress and must first be addressed before further victories can be attained.

anywhosit, rachel is back from florida so now I have three people to talk to. she sent me a cool postcard with a dolphin on it. and.....Once again! I am the first person to recieve one!(feeling special)

still not sure where kate is. she was suposed to be back the 13th and it is now the 16th. I have tried several time to make contact with her, but have yet to successfully conect(I got the voicemail thingy)

well I am off once again to continue with my life.....or at least whatever I have of one....

good day

here I am again

2004-08-03T02:13:12Z

this is my second entry cause chel wanted me to make a second one.

here I am

2004-08-03T02:08:07Z

well I got back from camp friday night and it was awesome. I had a lot of fun. I also made some comittments. I have someone in mind that I'd like to ask to be my accountability partner but I have to think about it.

anywhosit, I'm sick and I have football tomorrow. now we only have it once a day, but it's from 4-8PM with a break inbetween. I don't wanna go. I can't breathe and I'm light headed. it sucks. I don't feel so bad now. I'm on my drugs. pseudoephed and ibuprofen work wonders.

well that's all I have to say

so bye now

sorry I haven't updated

2004-07-23T14:22:45Z

well I'm about to leave for a week of camp......and three weeks without kate:( I'm gonna miss her so fucking much. but it's ok because mom said I can see her when she gets back (I'll have braces but I'll still be able to see her so it'll make everything better). she already left and I already miss her.

well I guess I'll tell you what's been happening in my life.....

football
football
football
went over to help kate move last saturday....:) I like that house...and that closet....and the bathroom:)....but I like kate more
she dyed her hair dark and I must say it is quite hot...and quite sexy...and it helps when you're as beautiful as she is.
well after that we went to stacey's party...swam in her pool and ate her food...plus spent a lot of time with kate...so it was good....some guy asked me if I would mind it if he dated her....I said I would mind but that he was asking the wrong person.
well that night came to an end with several more noteworthy events and then I went back to my normal like life
football
football
football
tried to see kate wednesday
shot a bird thursday then cut neighbors grass
and now it's friday....and kate's gone....I'm about to be gone.

I have to get my learners permit before kate gets back....she told me to....so I have to go and take the tests online...screw that dumb ass book

ok well I'm off now...must finish packing and then I have to load up the van

adios mi amigos

P.S. there I updated Rae (haha I couldn't leave without making mention of the one who created my LJ layout) bye rachel talk to you next week....I guess you'd want me to call you? so I will

later

RACHEL IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-13T04:57:36Z

rachel must be awesome...I mean...I dedicated the subject of this entry to proving that point...do you people see the layout of my journal...yeah...she did that...all of it...and it's awesome!

anywhosit....I sat around the house all day and then I went to football around 6PM. I didn't get back till ten o' clock. then I took a shower, ate my ravioli, and now I'm writing this entry.and now I'm tired.....goodnight.

pig pickin!

2004-07-12T02:51:15Z

I'm back!!!!....I'm back in the saddle again!....well...not quite....I just got back from a pig pick'in at church...even though I hate bbq...bbq needs more bbq and less vinigar....it was fun though (even if it did cost $10). they had some fun stuff to do though...there was a manual spinning ride(you spin it by pumping metal bars), an inflatable obstacle course, and one of those american gladiator jousting things...you know...the fights with the giant Q-tips. after that we went to sonic and I got a Route 44 Cherry Limeade (ver ver ver ver good stuff). I stopped over Dave's but I couldn't stay long. Sky went to go....have a little fun...and Dave went to go drink and then go skinny dipping with some very very nice, hot, sexy,....uh....creations of God (I have only seen one so far and for her it's all true...but she's married). so I'm home and all alone listening to breaking benjamin. Plus I don't have to get up early tomorrow b/c football got moved to 6PM for the players with jobs...so life is good...well as good as it'll get for now.

well that's it for now.

I'm gonna go play computer games and talk to Kimberly on AIM since she's the only person on worth talking to right now....kate just left cause she has to babysit...fun stuff

Later

the begining

2004-07-10T18:28:50Z

well this is the beggining....Rae asked so many times for me to get a journal. well Rae...here it is...happy?.......honestly I have nothing more to say than that......my life is boring...it consists of going to football at 8:00AM and then coming home and going back to sleep 24/6(everyday except Sundays)...ooo and even better...in august practice will be two times a day!...I'm gonna be strong.

well this is where I stop for now.....I see a squirrel on the bird-feeder and I have to go it (it's only a bb-gun)